Are self limiting thoughts capping your potential?
When we think of limitations to business or growth we might think of finances, the economic environment, government policy or that really annoying competitor with all the billboards or Google ads. We don’t often put ourselves on that list. Just the thought of us being our own worst enemy is cringe worthy.
What are self limiting thoughts?
“Self-limiting beliefs are the assumptions or perceptions we have about ourselves and the way the world works. These assumptions are “self-limiting” because by holding on to these beliefs, we are in some way holding ourselves back from achieving our goals.“ (Foundations Asheville, 2021)
This quote shows that we are all susceptible to self limiting thoughts. We all have assumptions and perceptions. It is how firmly we hold onto those assumptions and perceptions that create the potential to limit ourselves.
How can I tell if my thoughts are limiting my potential?
In 2014 Forbes published a list of eight thoughts that are symptoms of self-limiting behaviour that we have paraphrased or quoted below;
Feeling controlled by your circumstances
Mistaking fantastical wishful thinking for action
Remaining powerless and speechless
Putting off investing in yourself
Resisting change
Honouring other people’s time/priorities over your own
Doubting yourself and your instincts
Searching for handouts and easy answers
That list hits a little close to home. The fact of the matter is that we slip in and out of self limiting behaviour without thinking about it. Sometimes we don’t even realize that our thoughts are creeping into our behaviours until we look at a list like the one above. “Ah, yes, I did number 6 this morning!” “Why?” “How can prevent it from happening again?”
Preventing self-limiting thoughts and unleashing our full potential!
“Without the recognition that underlying limiting and negative Beliefs is the culprit of difficulties, you will continue to remain in a pattern and cycle of defeat.” (paraphrased Universal Coach Institute, 2021)
How To Overcome Self-Limiting Beliefs (Group Sixty, 2021)
Understand Self-Limiting Beliefs
Eliminate Self-Limiting Beliefs
Keep Self-Limiting Beliefs Dormant
First, we need to be aware of our thoughts and the power they have over our actions. Our words are even more powerful than our thoughts, because they show our beliefs. There is a saying in sales circles “when we say it, we believe it to be true”. That is why the best sales people ask so many questions, they want you to tell them what you believe, until you end up walking out with their product.
Pay attention to the things that you are saying. Write counter statements to the list of eight symptoms above. Say your new list out loud.
How can coaches help?
Coaches are trained to listen. We listen for things that sound like truths, that are just a little off the truth. That usually is a sign of a self limiting thought. Then with the coachee, client we approach that thought with curiosity, an open mind. “Yeah, why do I say it that way?”
“coaches can become an integral part of the change from limiting beliefs to enabling ones.” (International Coach Academy, 2016)
A well crafted coaching environment it is free from judgment. It is designed to be safe and confidential so that we can be vulnerable enough to look at our perceptions and assumptions objectively, curiously. At the end of the day, they might be right, but we will be more self-aware just having questioned and investigated their value.
Speak positively!
“Literally, the work of a coach is to help the coachee to raise the volume of their positive self-talks to suppress the negative ones. It can be as simple as changing the tone from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’!” (Leaderonomics, 2016)
Up the positive self-speak! You are only faking it until your actions line up with your language (it won’t be long).
